As I am now of sound mind and body, thanks to Brian Stegmann DDS, I felt like I should probably document the events that led to an extremely horrible Saturday/Sunday night
It all started Tuesday. I called the dentist because I started to feel pressure on a tooth I had previously had filled quite some time ago. I have been through pain in the past of emergency dental care and didn’t want to have that episode repeated. They fortunately had a cancellation that afternoon and could get me in that day to look at it. Excellent! Wait….why does this post exist then?
I got to the dentist about 3pm and did the normal rigmarole filling out paperwork and such. I got in pretty quickly to see the Dentist. The assistant gave me a quick X-Ray and it all seemed pretty standard at that point. She stated the root looked slightly inflamed but she wasn’t the dentist and would see what he said.
The dentist then came in obviously preoccupied. He quickly looked at my X-Ray, gave me a 45 second look at the tooth and prescribed me some low dose antibiotics. A small part of me felt it was rushed. A tiny part of me thought that he was just moving on to end his day. That small part needed to speak the fuck up. That small part will never ever remain quiet at a dentist office ever a-fucking-gain. I didn’t think too much of it at the time because what the hell do I know? He is the dentist. He is the one who looks at teeth all day. I hate when people assume they know more than me about my profession, especially people who have no idea what they are talking about. I walked out to the lobby confident that the antibiotics would head off the horrible pain and scheduled my inevitable root canal…..for 3 god damn weeks later. I was confident at that point that I had done my due diligence to head off any episode of terrible tooth pain.
It was not humanly possible for me to be any more wrong.
This was Tuesday. I didn’t experience any more pain that day. I took my antibiotics and went to sleep as usual (with the Hiroshima bacteria cooking up the most devious explosion of all time).
Wednesday was fairly uneventful. I felt mild discomfort after eating but a salt water rinse was find. Still taking antibiotics and unaware of pending doom.
Thursday things started to intensify. Pain did follow eating food. I had to rinse almost immediately after eating to subside it. That night I mentioned to my wife I had some pain in the tooth but it wasn’t too bad. She insisted I call the dentist Friday to get him to look at it. I ignored her because I am functionally retarded. She will likely bring this up no less than 253,459 times. She was right. She loves me. Shes almost always right. GOD DAMN IT I AM A MAN. I MAKE MY OWN DECISIONS.
(At this point I imagine the plans were finalized for the assault by the bacteria laughing off the Beetle Bailey of antibiotics I was taking. They were all out for a night on the town before being ready to murder me).
Friday I went to lunch at an extremely good deli. After lunch I had some fairly intense pain that I suffered through while trying to keep a conversation going with a coworker and playing it off. I chewed some Trident White and that helped some. The pain subsided but it was a major alarm that I should have listened to. I, of course, ignored it because of earlier mentioned retardation and my hatred of dentists.
Friday night my parents were over and I was not in any pain. We got dinner at the usual pub by the house in carry out. I got a turkey burger. While eating I didn’t experience any discomfort. HOWEVER, later on it kicked in. The food settled and I needed some help. I rinsed with warm saltwater and the pain subsided. My mom noticed my pain and offered some emergency pain meds (because she knew as much as I wouldn’t accept that terrible pain was impending). I stowed them away and continued on. I continued to hang out with my parents and had a good night.
I usually stay up late. That much is a given. Check the time of this post. I stayed up late Friday. Pain kicked in overdrive at about 11:30PM. The first line of bacteria decided they were starting the assault. It was full on pain mode. This was what I thought was some of the worst pain I ever felt. It was similar to the last time I went through this. It was throbbing escalating pain that all the google searches for “horrible tooth pain” can offer some relief for. The remedies that are great for when you are stuck for a bit without a dentist. I went to the go to that I knew worked. I got some cold tap water and held it in my mouth. I went upstairs and grabbed the Vicodin my Mom gave me and took it. I held cold water in my mouth for spurts until it got warm, swallowed it, repeated until the pain meds kicked in. I went to sleep about 2 am holding cold water in my mouth and drooling on my pillow. I thought that was the worst tooth pain could get. I was very very wrong.
I woke up Saturday without pain. Some mung had settled on the tooth and likely covered up Mount Vesuvius. I went upstairs and grabbed coffee greeting my parents who were already up and playing with my son. Pain started as soon as I unsettled the mung with the coffee. I rinsed with warm salt water immediately which subsided it. I described how I had a bad night to my wife and parents and my mom offered 2 more Vicodin. I stowed them away knowing that I would likely need them. All of them knew I was screwed. My wife told me to call the dentist office because they were likely open. I insisted she call because I was being a jackass. She called and they were closed but she did mention that Stegmann was on call and I could call his number. I brushed it off because (see above retarded) I AM A MAN I will make it through this. Surely the antibiotics have to work at some point right? I took those again. I essentially sent 2 pre-Super Soldier serum Steve Rogers into battle the Hulk. They were swatted away like the gnats they were.
I didn’t eat breakfast because I knew it would have been tempting fate. I did sip on the coffee with no pain but it was slow going.
My Mom and Dad socialized for a bit while I was dealing with some fairly mild tooth pain. I knew I would have to do something after they left but I didnt think too much about it. I will just keep taking the antibiotics and they will eventually kick in and knock this out. The dentist told me that was the course. He is a seasoned professional. He must know what he is talking about.
I took a trip to Dierbergs after the parents left to get some food that I thought would be OK. The theory I had concocted that high salt foods should be fine. It would combat the bacteria and I wouldn’t aggravate the tooth. I bought several different kinds of soup and some ramen noodles. I had read at some point that chili powder was good for a sore tooth and bought some Chili Ramen Noodles that had a ridiculous amount of sodium for lunch. I bought enough high salt stuff for the entire weekend fully preparing to call first thing Monday morning to get this thing looked at and suffer through a couple nights of pretty bad pain.
THAT PLAN WAS BEYOND ASININE.
I ate the Chili Ramen Noodles and I might as well have eaten Napalm.
After that. It was over. Pure and complete misery mode kicked in.
It was like I was biting on a razor continually in the most painful part to have pain.
I wanted to kill myself for 18 hours.
I could think of absolutely nothing but the pain.
My life for the next 18 hours consisted of holding water in my mouth for 5 seconds, spitting it out and then repeating that.
The pain didnt go away by ANY means with this process. The pain simply lessened minimally.
Sleep was not possible. I sat in bed with water and probably made an exceptionally bad night for my wife as well who eventually moved to the couch.
I was noisy and paced the entire house in extreme pain. I have broken my wrist (bad), had an appendix about ready to explode, had my hand slammed in a car door (2 broken fingers), and slipped a disc in my back during wrestling. These were all the equivalent of a paper cut in comparison.
I went to my garage and looked at tools to knock the tooth out. I contemplated suicide. I sat in the shower crying.
It was a throbbing intense pain that was debilitating.
I would have done ANYTHING to end the pain. ANYTHING.
I suffered through it.
My wife bared with me and put up with my stubbornness. She was right. She is almost always right. For some reason she loves me and does everything for me.
Finally at 9 AM, not sleeping at all, we went to the dentist office.
I was in the parking lot pacing drinking from the 3rd water bottle I brought for the 20 minute drive.
We rushed in and the dentist told me about how he was sorry he couldn’t help me last night but it was his wife’s birthday.
I understand now, but I could have murdered him right there if he wasn’t the only human being on this earth who could end this pain.
The first words out of the dentists mouth in the chair were “Let me numb you up because you seem to be in a lot of pain.”
I responded with “PLEASE DO THAT”. What I meant was FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS NUMB THIS OR KILL ME!
The needle went in the deep tissue and I didn’t even feel it. The pain of the tooth was much too excruciating for a needle to register.
As the substance oozed in, relief came. The pressure was gone. The pain was gone. I felt like someone who had regrown an arm.
The dentist could have done anything he wanted to me at that point. In my mind, he had saved my life. He could have asked for my house and my car.
The standard root canal occurred and all was well afterward.
Anyway…….That is my documentation of this event.
It was a night I will never forget.
I did learn a few things from it.
- My wife is awesome. People in the world have to worry about a lot of things. I have to worry about money, my job, my kids, and all the other nonsense. My wife….that is something I was just gifted. She is wholeheartedly awesome. Hands down the best thing that ever happened to me.
- If a dentist at anytime says the words “Maybe this filling will take. Its pretty deep. You may need a root canal.” Get the root canal. Do not even consider any other option.
- So.. I once had a full storefront window fall into my skull (long story). It was bad. I was bleeding and in a lot of pain. Nothing compared to this granted, but bad. I was able to go to an emergency room and get that taken care of pretty quickly. Why does this service not exist for teeth? Why am I subject to a dentist’s child’s soccer schedule? Tooth pain is fucking awful.
*If you are wondering why this is the 2nd worst night of my entire life…..You just do not know me that well.
